What The Heart Truly Desires

A little rush of passion,
A few sparks of romance,
Intelligence mixed with a little fashion,
A few drinks, music and the element of chance.

The magic in the eyes,
like a beautiful sunrise,
the two bodies collide like fire and ice,
a little love, a little lust, but overall oh so nice!

A concoction designed to appeal,
to the senses and the soul,
like a new hit song full of 'feel',
that makes you wanna Rock n roll!

What the heart truly desires is to love and be loved in return,
but its rare to find that in life so patience one must learn.

But always be on the lookout coz it can come along when you least expect it!
In a dark room or even one that's well lit!

Written at 23rd August, 2014
At Whetherspoons in Kingston while chilling with my friends and classmates - Dani, Max, Roger, Joe, Stacy and Marie. 

Lets Fall Together

My wish is for you to come to me and take me by suprise,
I want to wake up with you in my arms to every sunrise,
let's walk together through the grasses green,
and discover new lands together never before seen.

Hold my hand and take the leap,
let me hold you when you weep,
let me kiss you, your shiny skin so sweet,
lets dance to the song of love - such a beautiful beat.

Lets drink coffee together and complain about how capitalism is taking over the world,
lets discuss Plato and Socrates while letting our love unfurl,
lets watch a romantic movie together and have a subtle contest to see who cries first,
and when we can't hold it in any longer - let our tears burst!

Let's go shopping and discuss brands like we know the difference,
'Nah Nah Uniqlo's waaay better than M & S', 'No, that's just your preference'.
Let's cook together - I'll show u what I know and then you can show me what your good at,
I can pamper you with delicacies and you can help make me fat!

Lets be lazy together and be ok with that.
'What do you feel like doing today' .. 'Bleh' .. 'We chill in the flat?'
'Yeah' .. 'come here' .. 'I wanna snuggle' .. 'Its a hot day babe' ... 'You don't love me'
C'mon .. no need for a lover's spat.

Lets go for long cycle rides in Richmond park,
we'll see deers in the wild!
enjoy the trees, have a can of juice, maybe even spot a lark!
together in nature be beguiled.

Movie Review: Bobby Jasoos

To begin with, I quite liked the movie :)

In the past I have been often very judgmental and arrogant of my opinion of Hindi-Bollywood movies as they have given me plenty of reasons to be and as Hollywood has set high standards in my mind. If you've seen movies like Godfather, Star Wars and Remember the Titans; watching movies like Murder or Aashiqui 2 makes you want to die. So, let's face it - Its not completely my fault.

Moving on,

This movie in my reserved opinion is rather heart-warming (Yes I shed a few tears while watching it, and No you did not read that last sentence). The movie's plot is based on the protagonist Bobby who dreams of being a private detective and has little professional experience or formal education for the same. Her skills though are commendable. An intuitive mind with fairly thorough database of what goes on in her part of town; her skills are not to be taken lightly. She's witty, persistent and observant. Yes her unorthodox methods don't always come across as the best but they end up paying results which is what matters.

The movie is solely carried by the acting of Vidya Balan. It gets a bit slow in parts but thankfully unlike a lot of hindi movies this one isn't long. Its been well edited to fit into the 2 hour window of entertainment and that earns it marks in my books. The plot gets interesting after the initial bit as there is suspense created revolving around the nature of the mysterious character who hands out money as if its running out of style to Bobby for her services. Many questions are raised and in time answered. Who is this man? Why is he tracking down these people? What becomes of them once he finds them? Etc etc.
The family drama in the movie fits that of a typical Indian middle-class Muslim household where women must obey and honor the traditions set before them by the patriarchal head and 'society'. Personally I din't really like this bit. I feel sad seeing the mindsets of the majority of our population still stuck in their perception of their life as black and white with women either having a place in the household or not. In this sense, Bobby defies many of the stereotypical notions of being feminine and that's what makes her such a strong character. She's an ambitious go-getter who refuses to back down.
Upon the interval where she decides to go against the current and stand up to the 'boss-man' rather than simply be a pawn in the game is when it gets interesting.

No Bollywood movie is complete without a love story these days and this film is no exception. Although, at least there is an attempt made to not make the entire movie revolve around the love story so that earns it marks too. Although the cheesy love song calls for alarm and hence all those marks you just earned have now been subtracted.

Here's where it loses marks for me - the script is rather simple. So if your attentive, you really can make out where its all going. Although as a writer I know how difficult it can be to tell a good story, thats why I never undermine even an otherwise ordinary averagely good story. But when it comes to movies, a director has a lot more tools to express creativity than a writer. Apart from the back-story of mr. mysterious and his reasoning of why he's doing what he's doing - there really isn't anything much you can't anticipate if you haven't been concentrating.

For me the real flavour to the movie was the ending. Not just the mystery unsolved but the way Booby stands up to her father. The dialogue 'Mai aapki sharam nahi, aapki shaan bana chahti huu' really struck a cord with me. The last 15 mins of the movie where everything culminates is definitely the best in this critics opinion and the wait to reach there is quite alright.
The humour in the movie also keeps you occupied and I must say there is quite a bit of it in the film.

So all in all, it ain't a genius movie. It is good entertainment. Vidya Balan - well done. Script - good show. Happy to see Bollywood progressing the way it is. (I am reeeealy hoping this is not a re-make of some English movie coz then I'd really lose a lot of faith).

I would rate the movie a reasonable 6 of 10. Would I watch it again? Maybe. But yes, if your looking for an entertaining yet heartwarming hindi movie with a bit of suspense and drama - this is definitely a good bet.

Enjoy!

Over a cup of coffee

Inspired by True events

It was 8 AM, he hadn't slept all night. The assignment was due at 11, not much was left but he had to get it done. 'You never value words as much as you do when you're typing an assignment' he thought to himself. The word-count hangs over you like an executioner and you the prisoner. Despite 3 Red-bulls, 2 caramel macchiatos, 3 millionaire shortbreads, 2 packets of crisps and 2 sandwiches; energy drained from his body like a cheetah cooling off after a failed chase of his prey. 'Oh, how much more!' He thought to himself. 300 words. 'Hey! That's not much!' a smile upon his face. Wait, Oops - That's the amount he had written. 2700 more to go. What had he done all this while? Well, yesterday evening he couldn't get any work done coz his friends came over and they all got high. The day before that he burnt his fingers on the hob so typing was an issue and he couldn't get any writing done. The day before that he was out with family and he had to do his chores when he got back home, after which he was completely exhausted so he just had to sleep. Despite his repeated efforts, nothing seemed to pull through. He had spent all last night researching the topic so as to produce a good-quality essay. Now it was 8 in the morning and the essay had barely been done.
'I've GOT to do this.' He motivated himself. Like a professional typist he started off. Click, click, click, click, click, he was typing at the speed of light. Words were on the screen just as fast as he thought them. The argument made sense, the structure was strong, the concept - original, it was happening! Beautiful! After continuing with full focus for what seemed like half an hour, he paused to check the word-count. 923. Not bad. He thought to himself. Then he checked his clock - it had been exactly 12 mins since he had started again. A rush of confidence boosted him. '623 words in 12 mins! I'm on a roll!' he reassured himself. Again he started off, this time though a little more calculative than before. A certain rhythm had taken form.

That's when it happened.

Her day had just started. She got all ready to go to uni when she got the message - class is cancelled. Disappointed she decided to take a different route to uni that day now that she had an extra hour to make it to the next lecture. Into Starbucks she went to get a hot Cappuccino and look who she sees to her surprise! There he sat, his face so familiar. She had seen him at uni before. He looked so cute with that haircut and his black Uniqlo jacket. 'Oh!' she felt a chill up her spine. 'You're order ma'am?' the lady at the counter asked interrupting her thoughts. 'Oh! A cap .. cappuccino please!' she replied fumbling. She realized she should not stare, and became extremely self-conscious. She went and sat at a table diagonally opposite him. His table was a mess. My god! How long had he been there? It seemed like he had spent the night there. There were wrappers, used tissues and basically filth all around him. Was he doing an assignment last minute? Hmmm, he had never seemed like the irresponsible types before. Who knew that behind such a pretty face lay such recklessness. But oh what a pretty face he had - 'Oh!' she found herself thinking about them together again.

**Sigh**

'I wonder if he ever notices me.' She thought to herself. The coffee was served. She sipped slowly; blowing at it slightly as it was piping hot.


'I'm getting my momentum, this baby's all mine!' He thought to himself. He had gotten 1203 words. All that reading was paying off. A combination of the reading and his ability to critically analyse and draw arguments was what was being spilled out onto the screen. Suddenly something caught his attention. There she sat, cross-legged, sipping her piping hot coffee. Wow! She took his breath away. Her features striking, that denim jacket looking smashing on her. His thoughts were disrupted. He couldn't concentrate on the essay anymore. 'Serve me right for studying at Starbucks. Why didn’t I just go to the library like everyone else.' he thought for a moment. 'No I have to study. I have to! Its due at 11! F***!!!' He attempted a rescue mission to get his concentration back. It worked initially, but was short-lived. 1500 words. That's all he could do. Well, it's better than nothing. Considering two hours ago I barely had any. 'I'm so tired' he thought to himself. He looked up from his screen. She wasn't there. Disappointed he turned back to his laptop. 'Oh well' he thought 'Perhaps next time'.


'He's typing so fast! My god! Its almost as if he wants to injure his keyboard!' She thought to herself. 'Stupid reckless boy, why didn’t he do it earlier? I don't even think I've ever seen him at the library. Huh, I guess he'd rather study here anyway. Who studies at Starbucks?!' Just the thought seemed insane to her. 'Its a place to get coffee and have a chat not you're office studio! Hmpf!' she further complained. 'He's got way too much swagger to like any decent girl. Especially someone like me! Unless I wear a micro-mini top and some revealing shorts, he won't even blink when his eyes fall on me.' She noticed her reflection in the mirror. 'Oh! My make-ups off, I'd better go correct it. He's busy lost in his laptop, what does he care. No, but it looks bad, I'll go correct it.' She got up and walked towards the toilet without him ever noticing.


'Ah! Nothing like a hot butter croissant and an episode of 'Friends', man can these guys make me laugh! Haha' He thought to himself. He had let the episode buffer online while he ordered the croissant. That was the other reason he liked studying at Starbucks - Free unlimited fast Wifi. Faster than at Uni and no blocking of Torrentz or anything - download what you like - He liked that. When he returned to his table, he didn’t notice it but there she was - back on her seat. He saw his episode and laughed at regular intervals enjoying the food never noticing that she was looking at him all the while - wondering, thinking, feeling. He was too busy lost with Chandler's sarcasm and Joey's foolishness. When he finished the episode, he decided to get back to work as he felt better. Upon returning the plate he noticed her again. 'There she is again. I thought she left?'. Their eyes met and she instantly turned away.

'That was weird' - Both thought the same but felt differently.

'She turned away so quickly, what is she ignoring me or smtng?' - boy
'He's looking at me! Shit! He din't look at me all throughout his laughing spree, why is he looking at me now?' - girl
She turned slowly and looked his way. He was still looking at her. She held his gaze for about 2 seconds before again looking away.

'This girl is weird.' he thought.
'Oh my god, he's still staring.' She said to herself.
'She looks familiar, have I seen her somewhere?' he thought.
She took a deep breath. 'Now now, don't attract attention to yourself. Be calm.'
'I swear I've seen her somewhere, but I can't seem to place her. Damn I wish I knew where I had seen her, at least then we'd have something to talk about. But now I can't even approach her especially after how she just flipped her head 180 degrees like a boomerang after seeing me. Good lord! She probably thinks I'm some creep who’s staring at her boobs or something! Fuck dude, I'm getting out of here. I don't wanna cause a scene or something.'
He picked up his jacket and started packing his things.
'He's leaving?! What?! Why? Is it because of the look I just gave him? No!!! Stop! Don't go! But I can't say that?! That'll sound so stupid! I don't wanna make a scene or something. Oh no, what do I do.'

Once packed he literally stormed out of the Starbucks as if they've just declared a bomb-threat there or something.
'HE RAN. WHO THE HELL RUNS OUT OF A STARBUCKS?! Shit, I creeped him out. I'm such a fool.' She placed her face in her hands and felt stupid. She sipped her coffee quietly, distraught with herself. When it was over, she looked at the empty cup in dismay. It was a sad beginning to the day. She left the cup at the counter - the waitress thanked her for doing her work to which she politely smiled. Looking down, she began walking out of the place.

That's when it happened.

There he was, sitting bang opposite Starbucks at Costa. No food, no drink, just him and his laptop - pretending to look busy. He had been waiting all the while for her to come out. He took of his earphones and began walking up to her. She noticed it. At first she paused, but then she kept up her pace. 'Excuse me!' he called out. She took a short deep breath and turned out putting on an heir of bravery 'Yes?' she replied. 'Hi, I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable back there. I wasn't staring at you or anything, and it wasn't my intention to make things awkward.' he spoke gently. 'That's all right.' she said almost dismissively and half turning around.
'Um, one more thing!'
'Yes?' She stopped and looked at him again.
'Have I seen you before?'
'Um, I think maybe you study at Rohampton as well? Perhaps you've seen me there?'
'Oh yeah! I knew you looked familiar. Huh, right right. Well, Hi! I'm *****!

'Hi I'm *****, nice to meet you.'
They shook hands and smiled. 
'Well, I hope you don't take this the wrong way but um, would you like to join me for  cup of coffee?'
She had butterflies in her stomach as he said those very words.
'Sure! But, I just had coffee :/'
'Oh ok, um, another time then...'
'But you can buy me a scoop of Gelato' she said jovially.
The boy smiled.

They were just getting to know each other.
 

The Boxer

A gust of wind,
A ray of sunlight,
The dreamy eyes wake,
Time for the next round of the fight.

He looks into the mirror, A moment of self-refelction,
Reminding him to be strong and patient,
'Your time will come, just keep working and hold on',
A poster of Ali on the wall - his inspiration.

Music in his ears, fire in his belly, he runs,
runs so far he loses track, he was never built for the track anyway,
push up, pull up, push up, pull up - Focus kid! This aint a game of fun!
One wrong move and you'll come crashing down like a leap of hay.

Knees bruised, elbows scratched, eye blue and I don't mean the pupil,
"Keep your shoulders up! Wrists cocked up!" No mercy! Be brutal,
Aaaaaah! He lunges, Ufff, he plunges,
the fight takes it toll, hit, beat up, he sits - catches his breath.

Training for the big fight was never easy,
The rides always tough, only rarely is it breezy,
Eat protein and plenty of carbs! Get your rest son,
Yes Coach! Just three more lifts before the day's quota is done.

The time came when his talent was put to the test,
He was facing all - the worst and the best,
Ringside, every step along the way coach saw the glory begin,
K.O. ! Victory Rizler! He's too fast! So strong and lean!

It din't matter how tall or strong you were, this 'kid' was the formidable force you couldn't stand up to,
Rizler! Rizler! Rizler! The nobody whose name was now on everyone's lips,
A bleeding mouth, one hurt eye, yet he stood, unafraid, undefeated, no boo-hoo,
landed a punch and fractured his opponents hip!

'How do you do it?' They asked him, 'What's your secret?'
'Just dedication and hard work' he replied humbly,
This was true but it wasn't the whole truth,
there was another reason that made Rizler do what he did - It was Bumblebee.

Bumblebee. Oh Bumblebee. So innocent. So sweet,
but the fates had not been kind and Bumblebee was no more.
Rizler was so angry, sadness took over him. He felt defeat,
The incident broke him. Left him like a gaping wound - in need of healing whist still sore.

He had no one but himself to help him get back on his feet,
the journey changed him, he was never the same again.
the boy had become a man, ready to struggle, full of energy, upbeat!
a mixture of pain and hope keeping him sane.

Boxing found him, Coach put a glove in his hand before lending him one,
Coach taught him to dream again, 'You're gonna be BIG son!',
Coach painted the picture, Rizler made it a reality,
 Together they overcame all the hurdles and became an unstoppable team.

Now they travel, rocking the ring, making the arena come alive,
With every punch landing his name into the archives,
Look at him go! In, out, in, out! Slippery like a fish, swift like a puma!
Strong, oh so strong, making the crowds sing in unison 'hallelujah, hallelujah!'

Behold The Legend of Rizler!
It's his time now, Look at him shine!

Reflection of a moment

(Started on 5th April, 2014 at 5:45 am)

It's not just happiness I feel, its a mixture of profound peace and serenity,
It's not just love she gave me, its meaning and reason to be,
It wasn't just black or white, it was more than that,
I realized it when alone in the club I sat.

Looking around I struggled to find a clear path,
Its not easy to identify whats the way to go sometimes,
I struggle everyday, it's a constant tassel like the mind of a sociopath,
a flicker of familiarity echoes comfort like Corona with lime.

What was beautiful, I could not see, I only realized in feeling,
with time, it revealed itself and indeed how brightly it shone,
one step at a time, non-judgmental, non-attached, simple flowing,
naturally, gradually, carrying innocence and playfulness, as if just born.

It has the power to rejuvenate, but it takes wisdom to fully accept its ways,
But those who are intelligent in time understand that that's the way to go,
because you realize who you are, not who society wants to make you,
you find strength and awareness within, which guides you so.

Just inner strength and focus isn't enough mind you,
The outer journey is just as real as the one within,
your thoughts, feelings and actions carry energy which constantly sail through,
creating a balance between 'in' and 'out' is crucial to surviving.

Too much reflection makes you a thinker,
Too little makes you a fool,
Just right makes you wise,
Not reflecting at all is just 'ek bahut baddi bhool'.
(A phrase in Hindi which translates into 'A very big mistake')

What takes courage is knowing what is right and following it even if your unsure how things are gonna play out,
There's faith in such a decision, and the power of faith is so tremendous it is unfathomable,
contesting, persisting even when your mind tempts you - like the illusion of an oasis in a drought.
Push through, focus, don't listen to the doubtful voice in your head, it's laughable. 

But at some level I truly believe we are all slaves in the hands of time,
today is our time to shine so we sparkle, tommorow its not so we struggle to rhyme,
everything - all our emotions, expressions, experiences, memories - everything is set to happen the way it does,
one moment your everybody's favorite Woody! The next minute its Buzz!

And that's what actually makes me believe in Buddha's words of it ALL being an illusion,
the real truth, the real crux of the matter is us! Us as we are! The magic we hold in being!
Everything we've ever wanted or defined ourselves by is present within,
yet we search high and low outside for all the magnificence expanding our eyes to see.  

Time only makes us realize this truth.
Causality is the principle, realization is the fruit,
cause and effect - as you reap, you shall sow;
But the heart constantly desires, and the brain even more so!

Its difficult to not be tempted and live wisely,
Its not deep meditation but more of an inner awareness,
your body talks to you as just as much your mind,
Its language is rarely heard even though its one of a kind.

Mind-body, interior-exterior, the world and its influence on us,
we are all part of the grand universe but one rarely feels connected to it,
the mind's always preoccupied; while at work, talking over dinner or even going home on the bus!
like separate pieces of a puzzle bent out of shape in order to prevent the right fit.

It is not peace we will find, it is not power or wisdom, it is just time,
we will find and we will let go, and then on the path of life we will repeat,
the best we can do is accept it, the irreversible loop we are all drawn too,
no better, no worse in the long run just memories perhaps to woo.

I read this poem once called 'Some people laugh and some people cry',
It brought a smile and a tear to my eye,
its about how people react to the same situations,
while one man finds it humourous, another one sighs ...

So its about perspective then, ah we have another discovery,
time, causality and now attitude! Ah sounds savoury,
Were all philosophers and rockstars misunderstood and born in the wrong decade,
lost in love, hungry for fame, pressure lingering like the general's mind in a war-zone blockade.

Or maybe not depends on how we see it no?
Today is a bright shinny day and brighter even will be tomorrow!
but perspective also factors in being true to yourself and that means living in the moment,
so back to inner-awareness; see? I just fell into the loop again.

I'm just as human as you; and your just as human as the guy sitting next to you!
So is Goku (well technically he was a sayan) and Majin buu!
(Sorry just wanted a creative way to rhyme .. kinda lame but it'll make those of you who watch DBZ smile :D )

And now I take your leave to go be true to what I believe in,
while this poem lets you introspect upon what has been said,
before the end one offers gratitude; hope reading this was time well-spent,
or maybe time made you arrive here upon this reflection of a moment. 

(Ended on 13th April at 2:30 am)

To New Beginnings

To getting a New Debit card,
to the start of better friendships,
to more confidence and less overconfidence,
to more conversations over coffee and less kissing on the lips.

To more patience and more maturity,
to more focus and less frivolity,
to being self-aware, to being more understanding,
to maintaining relations and acknowledging subjectivity.

To new sunrises and less midnights,
to travel responsibly and less lazyness,
to learning how to cook and eating healthy,
to more deep breaths and less crazyness.

To more Adorno and less 'Friends',
to being more supportive and less offend,
to catching the bus on time and not walking home!
to being more social and less alone.

To being less social when required too!
To Widening My Gaze and doing what I need to do.
to having more self-respect and never selling myself short,
to seeing myself soon (hopefully) on the Squash Court.

To less romance and more 'be my friend',
to appreciating what I have and making amends,
to a fundamental change of attitude that starts by saying 'NO',
You can't always be the nice guy, think twice before you say 'Yo!'.

To living in the moment and creating a new identity,
To breaking away from convention and enjoying the unpleasant serenity,
to shattering the mind which restricts and believing in the mind which acknowledges flight!
to sitting back and accepting the change - 'Ah what a sight' 

and finally,
To wishing you all a very goodnight! 

Book Review: 'The Dalai Lama's Cat' by David Michie

There are very few books one reads with absolutely not a single negative remark to say. This book is a delightful read and I am honoured to present a book review of it on my blog. It is for books like these that the purpose of a book reviewer truly exists - to tell you that this is a good book and you should read it. But lets not only make this me talking and you believing. I'd like to think that the audience of my blog is a smart independent one that thinks for itself and ascertains itself as it what is worthwhile and what is it not. So here why in my opinion I rate this book a flashing 5/5 stars -

The book's story although fictional is one hundred percent plausible and infact in many situations deals with problems that all normal human beings deal with - ego, anger, gluttony, low confidence, etc. Yes the book places Buddhism and Spirituality at a higher pedestal and makes it the first and foremost solution to all these problems - so if your not into spirituality this book is certainly NOT for you.
The book is quite literally exactly what the title suggests. The story of the Dalai Lama's cat. The most unique and never-before-seen feature that I as a reader witnessed was that the story is presented FROM THE CAT'S POINT OF VEIW. Yes! The entire Narrative is that of the cat's! There are passages in between where humans (often famous humans) take over but it is mostly the words and thoughts of the cat. Now I have always been a dog person and have a more or less stern dislike for cats since the 5th grade, but this book never made me feel repulsive to this feline even when it spat out furballs. That's the other catch. I'm the kind of reader who appreciates good writing. I do appreciate a good story but the way its presented scores points with me too. This book is deliciously written. I say 'deliciously' not because of the hundreds of food descriptions that are indeed gastronomically delightful as our little Snow Lion or HHC (His Holiness' cat) as she is addressed as is a big fat glutton! But because the author has indeed taken time to edit his manuscript with the choicest words to express articulately what he wishes to convey. This rare talent in today's fast pace world makes you admire and literally get lost along the pages as you grow reading this wonderful book. From accurate descriptions of the behaviour of how his holiness behaves with his guests to breath taking descriptions of Mcleodganj from a feline's eye situated at the highest point of Namgyal Monastery, this book is a light, humourous, spiritually enlightening read that makes you introspect and feel alive. I would suggest all who are interested to pick it up and not look back. Oh and keep your pencil ready because in all likelihood you'll definitely be doing some underlining :)

Although I do caution you it starts rather slowly and takes the first few chapters to get gripping, but once your hooked - There's no turning back! Just sit back and enjoy the show :D